Reflection

Tonight begins the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur, translated literally: The day of Atonement. A day to stop, reflect, and ask forgiveness for all ways in which we may have not been our best selves... whether intentional or not.

There were times this year when we lashed out at a loved one or dismissed a colleague. There were moments when we could have helped a neighbor, or celebrated with a friend. There are moments we wish we could get back and do over. Often, though, we are so busy running between appointments and obligations that we don't find the time to Stop. Reflect on those moments. Think about what we would do differently next time. And Vow to do so.

This is what Yom Kippur offers us. And more.

What if we ALSO use this day to reflect on when we WERE our very best? To think about the moments when we CHOSE to exhibit ourselves fully? To savor those feelings of gratitude, pride and joy? To share those stories with a friend and ask them to share theirs. What if we allowed this pause to not just be about healing what is broken, but also flourishing to become our best selves? As Barbara Fredrickson shares in her book, "Positivity", positive emotions help us broaden our minds and build more resilience, love and capacity. I believe that this is the true intention of the Yom Kippur.

As we enter this holiday, I think about the past year, about the loss of friend, about the beginning of new friendships, about the joys I've experienced, the love and blessings for which I'm grateful. As we enter this holiday, I vow to reflect, broaden and build. I wish you the same, and for us all to have the opportunity THIS YEAR to savor and spread joy.

I wish us all a happy and healthy and sweet new year. A year when we are our very best selves. May you and your loved ones be inscribed in the Book of (Flourishing) LIFE!

So What is this Positive Psychology thing anyways?

I love telling people that I'm going back to school for "Positive Psychology", as it's great fun to watch their response. Here's how it went yesterday with a very successful, intelligent corporate marketer that I know... she nodded, wrinkled her brow inquisitively, then smiled slowly and said... "COOL!" She then admitted that she had NO idea what it was, but that it sounded really great. This is the typical response.

So what is Positive Psychology? Is it saying that traditional psychology is "negative"? No. Is it rose-colored-glasses brainwash psychology? No. Am I going to be a clinical psychologist with a couch when this is done? Definitely not.

But what I am going to do is work with people, organizations, groups and communities to help them flourish. Yes, FLOURISH. Not just be happy, or positive all the time, but to really blossom. And if we think about how a flower blossoms, it is from the inside out. It is an unfolding of the petals toward the sun.

For people to flourish, what if we build from the inside? From character strengths, positive emotions like hope and gratitude, ideas tucked deep within, healthy muscles and heart waiting to be used? What if organizations built from the inside? Focusing on employee well being, best practices and organizational virtue to reach higher profitabililty? Momentary pleasures like a deal won, or a piece of cake, or a raise have been proven to unfortunately just be "momentary". We need a longer term solution.

Unfortunately, many people today are simply existing, trying to muddle their way through life, enjoying the momentary happiness, but unsure of how to find lifelong satisfaction. Positive Psychology says that the the absence of illness is not wellness. To be HEALTHY we must go beyond fixing a problem (like disease, apathay, misery, depression). We must allow for comprehensive flourishing. Flourishing relationships, feeling important meaning in life and work, savoring positive emotions and enjoying achievement.

Don't we all want this for our children? Flourishing? For our companies? For our communities? For society at large?

For more on Positive Psychology, visit http://www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu/

Double Chai

1 hour and 15 minutes until my 36th birthday, and I am overwhelmed with gratitude - literally brimming with a molecular, bone-felt joy that everyone deserves to feel at least once in their lifetime... lump in my throat, tears in my eyes, I feel like the luckiest woman alive.

My what a difference a year makes... Just one year ago, I was drowning in my preconceptions of 35 - the mammogram I've still yet to have, the sagging boobs that have remained firm, the I'm-now-closer-to-40-than-30-and-STILL-not-married fear of dying eggs and dried up ovaries.... let's face it, I thought 35 was death disguised with frosting and a candle.

And then this amazing thing happened to me... I woke up to LIFE. I can't quite recall if it was the break-up with yet another ill-matched boyfriend, or it was just luck - but sometime this year, I decided to take control of my life and OWN it. Prince Charming wasn't swooping in to save me on his horse any time soon, so I'd damned well better do it myself!

And I am. Tomorrow, as I turn 36, I begin graduate school at the University of Pennsylvania in Positive Psychology, a field that fills my soul and inspires my mind. A program that literally brings me to tears of gratitude every time I think about it. I have searched for nearly a decade to find a graduate program that will enable me to encourage and inspire others for a living. A program that will allow me to LIVE as I've always dreamt I could: To live my purpose.

In Hebrew, the number 18 represents the word "life" (chai). So 36 is double chai, life 2x as good. How appropriate that I should begin this new journey on my 36th birthday. And even more amazing, how appropriate that tomorrow is also Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. Yes, it's going to be quite a wonderful, new, year.

Thank you to all of my friends, family and colleagues for your encouragement and support. Thank you go G-d for these blessings. My cup floweth over. Bring it on, Life! I can't wait!