CROCK: An earthenware pot, or container. CROCKpot: a slow cooker. C-ROCKind: Me. A body of delicous ideas, intense thought and passionate feeling all simmering, slow cooking, marinating in Life's humor, romance, pain and joy. This Blog: The Meal. Food for thought....
A good name for the blog?
Sunday, December 27, 2009
What's in a Name?
Tom and Gisele Brady waited 11 Days to name their baby. 11. While I'm sure we'll see the affect of such lack in identity 20 years from now on the pages of US Weekly, or the National Enquirer, for those 11 days, did it matter to the baby? He was fed and burped and loved.
What about this blog? Without a permanent name and a clear focus, I've let it wither to near nothingness. I haven't fed it with clever wit, or nurtured it with continuous sweet thought. No, I've let it shrivel into the endless of abyss long-forgotten empty blogs... It's like my plant at work: I remember to water it only when the leaves have faded to a crispy brown and the sad stems droop onto my desk.
I WANT to remember my plant, just like I WANT to remember this blog. And I do remember, it, but at the most inconvenient times... like when I'm half-asleep with thoughts rumbling through my head like a freight-train that I pretend not to hear and don't want to write down for fear that I'll never fall back asleep! Or when I'm driving and think of the most brilliant bit only to forget it by the time I am able to open my computer.
What this blog needs is a PURPOSE. It needs a reason to exist. And then I will remember to post. Like the book Julie and Julia - she didn't just write about her egomanical narcissistic thoughts. She cooked and wrote. Cooked and wrote. Every day.
And so, I go in search of my blog's purpose. And in the meantime, I will just write drivel when I think of it... au revoir!
What about this blog? Without a permanent name and a clear focus, I've let it wither to near nothingness. I haven't fed it with clever wit, or nurtured it with continuous sweet thought. No, I've let it shrivel into the endless of abyss long-forgotten empty blogs... It's like my plant at work: I remember to water it only when the leaves have faded to a crispy brown and the sad stems droop onto my desk.
I WANT to remember my plant, just like I WANT to remember this blog. And I do remember, it, but at the most inconvenient times... like when I'm half-asleep with thoughts rumbling through my head like a freight-train that I pretend not to hear and don't want to write down for fear that I'll never fall back asleep! Or when I'm driving and think of the most brilliant bit only to forget it by the time I am able to open my computer.
What this blog needs is a PURPOSE. It needs a reason to exist. And then I will remember to post. Like the book Julie and Julia - she didn't just write about her egomanical narcissistic thoughts. She cooked and wrote. Cooked and wrote. Every day.
And so, I go in search of my blog's purpose. And in the meantime, I will just write drivel when I think of it... au revoir!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Dying of a Broken Heart
I found out yesterday that someone I loved passed away. That's the second death in weeks and since they say it happens in "3s", I'm waiting...
Unfortunately, I don't think my heart can endure more loss - it is still so tender from losing Lillian, ripped open fresh yesterday from losing Phil, and still raw from losing my relationship 6 weeks ago.
I haven't talked about my break-up on this blog, or really anywhere in public. Either to defend the innocent, or to save myself from shame, I just haven't wanted to admit another relationship failure. I also haven't wanted to admit that I miss him... But I do. And in the midst of all this loss, I miss him more. The truth is that I'm dying for a hug. Even a strong, independent woman sometimes needs to be wrapped up and told that everything's going to be okay...
Unfortunately, I don't think my heart can endure more loss - it is still so tender from losing Lillian, ripped open fresh yesterday from losing Phil, and still raw from losing my relationship 6 weeks ago.
I haven't talked about my break-up on this blog, or really anywhere in public. Either to defend the innocent, or to save myself from shame, I just haven't wanted to admit another relationship failure. I also haven't wanted to admit that I miss him... But I do. And in the midst of all this loss, I miss him more. The truth is that I'm dying for a hug. Even a strong, independent woman sometimes needs to be wrapped up and told that everything's going to be okay...
Friday, November 20, 2009
Lillian E. Lippman, May she dance and sing in Heaven...
I heard the news on Monday, and it still has not sunk in. I expect Lillian to knock on my door at any time. "Are you back from vacation?" She would ask. "Did that Baby Boy have a good time?" Her ragged head peaking into my apartment.
"Anne told me you died," I'd say.
She'd roll her eyes and shake her head, "What do you listen to her for?"
It is with deep sadness that I announce that Lillian E. Lippman, my dear friend and Henry's beloved caretaker, died on Sunday, November 15. She was 85. Formal Cause of death: a heart attack. Informal: heartache... Life had finally just worn her down. Without children or sane close family, no one is writing an obituary for her. No one is arranging a funeral. Lillian will leave earth as if she was never on it and I can't let that happen. Her imprint on my heart, and in our lives is just too big. So here is your tribute, Auntie Lillian:
Lillian grew up in Brooklyn, a vivacious, flirty and wicked-smart girl. A youngest child until she was 15, Lillian used her sass and guts to sing her way onto the big stage. Performing with Big Bands, she met her first husband and they had a glorious time dancing and singing at Manhattan parties until she lost him unexpectedly. She married again, wanting to start a family, and moved with her new husband to Martha's Vineyard before realizing that he did not want kids. "I never would have married the bastard," she recently told me.
She moved to Cleveland more than 40 years ago to care for her ill mother. When her mom passed, Lillian remained in Cleveland to care for her younger sister, Anne, a schizophrenic whose husband left her and whose daughter never calls. Ever. Day in and day out, Lillian would listen to Anne's wild delusions, bearing the brunt of her psychotic accusations, ensuring that they had milk, and soup and a roof over their heads.
Lillian hated Cleveland. Of course, eventually, she hated everything. And she distrusted everyone. After the turn of events in her life, who can blame her? She would cuss at neighbors, garage attendants, our postman, and scream at anyone who got in her way. Few people knew the classy, spunky and creative woman inside. But I did, and I loved her. At first, I thought she was just the crazy old lady upstairs. She would hobble to the door on her cane, cursing at whoever just walked by. I tried to stay out of her way. One day, she knocked on my door to tell me that Henry cried every day while I was at work, and from then on, she became his caretaker. Within a few months with Henry, Lillian was walking without a cane, and within the first year, neighbors were thanking me, as she became more pleasant to them.
As the years passed, we became friends. Most days, our conversations were the same, "Carin, I don't know where you got that Baby Boy, but he is the cutest, the smartest. I don't know what you're going to do with him!" She would report on his poops and pee-pees, and sometimes, she would talk about her life... her days in New York, her nights on stage, her great loves. She wanted to show me the progress she was making in cleaning her house, and show off a treasure she would find at the nearby Goodwill store. And nearly every day, she would tell me how lovely I was, how I was the daughter she never had.
A year ago, Lillian lost her oldest sister, Madeleine. Lillian became more easily agitated, angry and sharply bitter. She was sure that workers were stealing from her, racists were trying to kill her, and people were wronging her. Three weeks ago, she fell, and I knew that we were nearing the end. Her smooth latte-colored skin turned a pale leathery yellow, her gait slowed, and she stopped brushing her hair. Every day, I asked her if I could please take her to the doctor, to which she would respond, "Maybe tomorrow."
Henry and I left on vacation last week, and as the plane landed back in Cleveland last Sunday, Lillian passed away. Given the spring in her step the last day I saw her, it is nearly impossible to believe now that she's gone. She had come to my door early, layered in her puffy purple coat and thick wool scarf, her wiry silver hair running wild from beneath her beige beret. "Come on MisterMister, time to go!"I looked into her eyes, those deep black pools to her soul, and smiled. I was sure we would have another tomorrow.
To our "Auntie Lillian", we miss you dearly. You are forever in our hearts, you are part of our souls. You are our family. We love you. May you sing and dance again, in peace, in Heaven.
All our love,
Carin and Henry
"Anne told me you died," I'd say.
She'd roll her eyes and shake her head, "What do you listen to her for?"
It is with deep sadness that I announce that Lillian E. Lippman, my dear friend and Henry's beloved caretaker, died on Sunday, November 15. She was 85. Formal Cause of death: a heart attack. Informal: heartache... Life had finally just worn her down. Without children or sane close family, no one is writing an obituary for her. No one is arranging a funeral. Lillian will leave earth as if she was never on it and I can't let that happen. Her imprint on my heart, and in our lives is just too big. So here is your tribute, Auntie Lillian:
Lillian grew up in Brooklyn, a vivacious, flirty and wicked-smart girl. A youngest child until she was 15, Lillian used her sass and guts to sing her way onto the big stage. Performing with Big Bands, she met her first husband and they had a glorious time dancing and singing at Manhattan parties until she lost him unexpectedly. She married again, wanting to start a family, and moved with her new husband to Martha's Vineyard before realizing that he did not want kids. "I never would have married the bastard," she recently told me.
She moved to Cleveland more than 40 years ago to care for her ill mother. When her mom passed, Lillian remained in Cleveland to care for her younger sister, Anne, a schizophrenic whose husband left her and whose daughter never calls. Ever. Day in and day out, Lillian would listen to Anne's wild delusions, bearing the brunt of her psychotic accusations, ensuring that they had milk, and soup and a roof over their heads.
Lillian hated Cleveland. Of course, eventually, she hated everything. And she distrusted everyone. After the turn of events in her life, who can blame her? She would cuss at neighbors, garage attendants, our postman, and scream at anyone who got in her way. Few people knew the classy, spunky and creative woman inside. But I did, and I loved her. At first, I thought she was just the crazy old lady upstairs. She would hobble to the door on her cane, cursing at whoever just walked by. I tried to stay out of her way. One day, she knocked on my door to tell me that Henry cried every day while I was at work, and from then on, she became his caretaker. Within a few months with Henry, Lillian was walking without a cane, and within the first year, neighbors were thanking me, as she became more pleasant to them.
As the years passed, we became friends. Most days, our conversations were the same, "Carin, I don't know where you got that Baby Boy, but he is the cutest, the smartest. I don't know what you're going to do with him!" She would report on his poops and pee-pees, and sometimes, she would talk about her life... her days in New York, her nights on stage, her great loves. She wanted to show me the progress she was making in cleaning her house, and show off a treasure she would find at the nearby Goodwill store. And nearly every day, she would tell me how lovely I was, how I was the daughter she never had.
A year ago, Lillian lost her oldest sister, Madeleine. Lillian became more easily agitated, angry and sharply bitter. She was sure that workers were stealing from her, racists were trying to kill her, and people were wronging her. Three weeks ago, she fell, and I knew that we were nearing the end. Her smooth latte-colored skin turned a pale leathery yellow, her gait slowed, and she stopped brushing her hair. Every day, I asked her if I could please take her to the doctor, to which she would respond, "Maybe tomorrow."
Henry and I left on vacation last week, and as the plane landed back in Cleveland last Sunday, Lillian passed away. Given the spring in her step the last day I saw her, it is nearly impossible to believe now that she's gone. She had come to my door early, layered in her puffy purple coat and thick wool scarf, her wiry silver hair running wild from beneath her beige beret. "Come on MisterMister, time to go!"I looked into her eyes, those deep black pools to her soul, and smiled. I was sure we would have another tomorrow.
To our "Auntie Lillian", we miss you dearly. You are forever in our hearts, you are part of our souls. You are our family. We love you. May you sing and dance again, in peace, in Heaven.
All our love,
Carin and Henry
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Getting Back on the "Horse" Again
It's time to get back on the proverbial writing-horse again. I fell off, and when I did, I hit my head so hard that I ended up in paralysis for the last 6 weeks.
But it's time to get back on. Fear has been holding me back, and let's face it, Fear Sucks. When we were kids, we'd fall off the bike and we'd be told to get back on. Get back on and your feet will remember how to peddle! Well when our confidence is shaken, it isn't our feet that is holding us back!
That fear of falling off again, that fear of crashing, that fear that we can't do it...this holds us back, and that is the story of me and writing. Writing is the craft I've always loved most, and yet it is the one thing I have always been terrified of pursuing. Put me in any corporate board room, with any Fortune 500 CEO, and I have no fear. Ask me to submit a small paragraph to a local community newsletter and I freeze. I lose my words. I lose my voice.
And as a writer, that's all I have.
To write this blog, I racked my brain to remember what tragic event instilled this deep paralyzing fear... In the second grade, I won prizes for my wallpaper-covered short story books. In high school, I won a college scholarship for an essay I wrote about Israeli-Arab relations. In college, I got an A on every paper I wrote, and accolades in my poetry and creative writing classes...and then I applied to write a column for the Michigan Daily, and they rejected me. They crushed my heart, and that was it - the pain was too grave, the scar too deep... I decided I was meant to write for business, not as my business.
13 years into my career, I still long to be a writer. And so, as my birthday gift to myself, I began this blog. And as those of you who have been loyal readers know, I was keeping it up pretty well. Then, on Rosh Hashanah, just hours after I boldly claimed on this blog that this year, I was going to take control of my life and conquer my dreams, one of my cousins said at dinner, "All bloggers are narcissists." While I tried to keep my head upright, and my confidence strong, I ran to the bathroom and cried. It was 10 minutes before I came out. And now 6 weeks since posting my last blog entry.
Well shame on me. I can't let one paper or one person's rejection hold me back. Yes, it's personal, and yes, it's deep, but no - they can't hold me back. I can't hold myself back.
I share all of this with you because maybe you have fears that are holding you back. Maybe you've been told that you shouldn't pursue your dreams, or that there's something wrong with you for having them in the first place. Maybe you've been paralyzed too and need some encouragement to get back on your horse. It's time for you too. I'm not a narcissist for writing this blog, and there is nothing wrong with you, or your vision for your life. Your dreams are your gift from G-d, your unique purspose that only you can fulfill.
The question is, what are we going to do with this gift? Will we hide from it in fear, shuffling through our days like zombies, clocking in at 9, and out at 5, sucked dry of our creative energy? Or will we face that fear head-on, and get back on that horse whenever rejection knocks us off? We must. We must get back on. For when we don't, our vision still haunts us. In our dreams, in our waking hours, in the faces of our children.
In a live recording about her book, "The Artist's Way" Julia Cameron discusses a conversation she had with a 40+ year old who wants to learn to play the piano. She says to Julia, "Do you know how old I'll be when I finish my lessons?" Julia says, "The same age you'll be if you never take them."
And so, I'm back on this horse. I'm 35, not 25, and one day (G-d willing), I'll be 45. And hopefully then, I can say that when I fell off the horse, I got back on again. And again. And again. And kept riding toward those dreams... I hope you will too.
But it's time to get back on. Fear has been holding me back, and let's face it, Fear Sucks. When we were kids, we'd fall off the bike and we'd be told to get back on. Get back on and your feet will remember how to peddle! Well when our confidence is shaken, it isn't our feet that is holding us back!
That fear of falling off again, that fear of crashing, that fear that we can't do it...this holds us back, and that is the story of me and writing. Writing is the craft I've always loved most, and yet it is the one thing I have always been terrified of pursuing. Put me in any corporate board room, with any Fortune 500 CEO, and I have no fear. Ask me to submit a small paragraph to a local community newsletter and I freeze. I lose my words. I lose my voice.
And as a writer, that's all I have.
To write this blog, I racked my brain to remember what tragic event instilled this deep paralyzing fear... In the second grade, I won prizes for my wallpaper-covered short story books. In high school, I won a college scholarship for an essay I wrote about Israeli-Arab relations. In college, I got an A on every paper I wrote, and accolades in my poetry and creative writing classes...and then I applied to write a column for the Michigan Daily, and they rejected me. They crushed my heart, and that was it - the pain was too grave, the scar too deep... I decided I was meant to write for business, not as my business.
13 years into my career, I still long to be a writer. And so, as my birthday gift to myself, I began this blog. And as those of you who have been loyal readers know, I was keeping it up pretty well. Then, on Rosh Hashanah, just hours after I boldly claimed on this blog that this year, I was going to take control of my life and conquer my dreams, one of my cousins said at dinner, "All bloggers are narcissists." While I tried to keep my head upright, and my confidence strong, I ran to the bathroom and cried. It was 10 minutes before I came out. And now 6 weeks since posting my last blog entry.
Well shame on me. I can't let one paper or one person's rejection hold me back. Yes, it's personal, and yes, it's deep, but no - they can't hold me back. I can't hold myself back.
I share all of this with you because maybe you have fears that are holding you back. Maybe you've been told that you shouldn't pursue your dreams, or that there's something wrong with you for having them in the first place. Maybe you've been paralyzed too and need some encouragement to get back on your horse. It's time for you too. I'm not a narcissist for writing this blog, and there is nothing wrong with you, or your vision for your life. Your dreams are your gift from G-d, your unique purspose that only you can fulfill.
The question is, what are we going to do with this gift? Will we hide from it in fear, shuffling through our days like zombies, clocking in at 9, and out at 5, sucked dry of our creative energy? Or will we face that fear head-on, and get back on that horse whenever rejection knocks us off? We must. We must get back on. For when we don't, our vision still haunts us. In our dreams, in our waking hours, in the faces of our children.
In a live recording about her book, "The Artist's Way" Julia Cameron discusses a conversation she had with a 40+ year old who wants to learn to play the piano. She says to Julia, "Do you know how old I'll be when I finish my lessons?" Julia says, "The same age you'll be if you never take them."
And so, I'm back on this horse. I'm 35, not 25, and one day (G-d willing), I'll be 45. And hopefully then, I can say that when I fell off the horse, I got back on again. And again. And again. And kept riding toward those dreams... I hope you will too.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
New Jobs NOW
With so much talk of casinos and the Cleveland Medical Mart, is there a “Silver Bullet” to creating new jobs NOW in Cleveland Plus?
Last week, Jay Miller of Crain’s Cleveland Business wrote an article called “Coming Attractions” about Team NEO’s work. It is our job at Team NEO to attract new jobs to Northeast Ohio. This year alone, we’ve brought 749 new jobs to the region in the 5 new companies we attracted with our regional partners. In fact, since Team NEO began this work in January 2007, we’ve brought 3,000 new jobs in total. That’s $95 million in new annual payroll and $175 million in annual regional economic impact - createing incremental tax benefits and personal opportunities for families across the 16 counties of Northeast Ohio - just when we need it most.
Our work isn’t “sexy,” and you won’t find it on a ballot in November. We don’t run big billboard or glitzy television ads – frankly, we can’t afford it. The 3000 new jobs we’ve helped create were all accomplished with a modest $3 million annual budget. In case you’re counting – that’s a 20:1 Annual Return on Investment for the community. These efforts aren’t “Silver Bullet” activities. Rather, they are the combined, day-in and day-out efforts of Team NEO’s 15 hard-working staff people, our 6 chamber/economic development partners, 16 counties, our amazing funders, and the hundreds of communities that are tirelessly working to create new jobs every day.
We’re proud of our organization’s “results”. But more importantly, we’re honored to serve this great region of our 4 million neighbors by helping Northeast Ohio workers and families find long-term sustainable jobs NOW - and in the future
Last week, Jay Miller of Crain’s Cleveland Business wrote an article called “Coming Attractions” about Team NEO’s work. It is our job at Team NEO to attract new jobs to Northeast Ohio. This year alone, we’ve brought 749 new jobs to the region in the 5 new companies we attracted with our regional partners. In fact, since Team NEO began this work in January 2007, we’ve brought 3,000 new jobs in total. That’s $95 million in new annual payroll and $175 million in annual regional economic impact - createing incremental tax benefits and personal opportunities for families across the 16 counties of Northeast Ohio - just when we need it most.
Our work isn’t “sexy,” and you won’t find it on a ballot in November. We don’t run big billboard or glitzy television ads – frankly, we can’t afford it. The 3000 new jobs we’ve helped create were all accomplished with a modest $3 million annual budget. In case you’re counting – that’s a 20:1 Annual Return on Investment for the community. These efforts aren’t “Silver Bullet” activities. Rather, they are the combined, day-in and day-out efforts of Team NEO’s 15 hard-working staff people, our 6 chamber/economic development partners, 16 counties, our amazing funders, and the hundreds of communities that are tirelessly working to create new jobs every day.
We’re proud of our organization’s “results”. But more importantly, we’re honored to serve this great region of our 4 million neighbors by helping Northeast Ohio workers and families find long-term sustainable jobs NOW - and in the future
Friday, September 18, 2009
New Year: Renewed Spirit
After my last post, a few of you seemed a bit concerned that I was becoming depressed about my 35-year-old life. No worries. I actually feel pretty amazing. Yes, I have fears and regrets and doubts, but I also have a deep appreciation for all that is Good - including my fears, for I'm allowing them to motivate me. I realize so fully now that time is short - and therefore, we must pursue our dreams NOW.
Isn't that the mantra of a new year? New resolutions, new promises, renewed spirit? The beauty of growing older is that we come to know and love ourselves more completely. We become more comfortable in our own skin and more peaceful in our hearts. And yet, we also realize that we have less time to enjoy this new found peace.
And so I enter this new Jewish Year, 5770, with this wonderful awareness and with clear intention. I enter it with the realization that I am in charge of my own happiness. I enter it knowing that with a little help from G-d, I can make my dreams true. I enter it with an open heart and open mind and prayers for peace. I enter it so appreciative of the Love around me - of family, and friends, and colleagues. I enter the year grateful for this blog, that is allowing me to pursue my passion, and share my innermost thoughts, and I am even more appreciative of all of you readers, for sharing with me in return. I am so blessed.
Have a Rockin' new year! L'shana tova.
Carin
Isn't that the mantra of a new year? New resolutions, new promises, renewed spirit? The beauty of growing older is that we come to know and love ourselves more completely. We become more comfortable in our own skin and more peaceful in our hearts. And yet, we also realize that we have less time to enjoy this new found peace.
And so I enter this new Jewish Year, 5770, with this wonderful awareness and with clear intention. I enter it with the realization that I am in charge of my own happiness. I enter it knowing that with a little help from G-d, I can make my dreams true. I enter it with an open heart and open mind and prayers for peace. I enter it so appreciative of the Love around me - of family, and friends, and colleagues. I enter the year grateful for this blog, that is allowing me to pursue my passion, and share my innermost thoughts, and I am even more appreciative of all of you readers, for sharing with me in return. I am so blessed.
Have a Rockin' new year! L'shana tova.
Carin
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
My Eggs Are Dying
My last blog entry about the fears of turning 35 generated a lot of comments. I was corrected several times that we do not need to get colonoscopies until we are 50, and I was warned that many insurance companies won't do a mammogram until 40. So this leaves me with one remaining fear of the aging body: giving birth to children. While we all know that Sarah Jessica Parker and Courtney Cox Arquette and countless other 40+ celebrities have successfully conceived - and given birth - to healthy newborns, as my garage attendant, Ed, said, "The only reason you don't want to be 35 is because you're running out of time to have children." (Thank you Dr. Ed.)
When I turned 30, my father sat me down to tell me that the clock was ticking. Didn't I know that my mother had early menopause? Didn't I realize that my eggs were dying? Well, I had never thought of my eggs per se, but YES, I do realize that time is running out and believe me, it scares the shit out of me.
But what am I going to do? Stop taking my pills and scream "surprise honey!" as I show my boyfriend the positive pregnancy test? Or maybe I should just dump him altogether and take out a want ad: Nice Jewish Girl looking for Nice Jewish Boy Ready to Marry and Procreate Immediately. Or maybe I can do the ultra-mod and find myself a sperm donor to become a single parent. Believe me - I've thought about it, and may seriously consider doing it one day.
But not yet. Because here's the other thing about being 35 and single: most of us don't want to be. That's right. Despite what they said on "Sex and the City", and despite how fabulous life is with the boat and the MINI and the European travel whenever the hell I damned-well-please, at the end of a long work day, we really want companionship. We want an open hug to greet us, a sturdy shoulder to lean on, and strong arms that wrap around us while we sleep. So though our clocks are ticking, our hearts long for more -or at least different - than a baby can provide.
This raises an interesting question about whether we would choose childless partnership over partnerless parenting, but I won't delve into that now. For now, I'll just say that I want both, and regardless of how it all comes into my life - via eggs or test tubes, or mail-order men, I'll sign off with faith that it will.
Rock on,
Carin
When I turned 30, my father sat me down to tell me that the clock was ticking. Didn't I know that my mother had early menopause? Didn't I realize that my eggs were dying? Well, I had never thought of my eggs per se, but YES, I do realize that time is running out and believe me, it scares the shit out of me.
But what am I going to do? Stop taking my pills and scream "surprise honey!" as I show my boyfriend the positive pregnancy test? Or maybe I should just dump him altogether and take out a want ad: Nice Jewish Girl looking for Nice Jewish Boy Ready to Marry and Procreate Immediately. Or maybe I can do the ultra-mod and find myself a sperm donor to become a single parent. Believe me - I've thought about it, and may seriously consider doing it one day.
But not yet. Because here's the other thing about being 35 and single: most of us don't want to be. That's right. Despite what they said on "Sex and the City", and despite how fabulous life is with the boat and the MINI and the European travel whenever the hell I damned-well-please, at the end of a long work day, we really want companionship. We want an open hug to greet us, a sturdy shoulder to lean on, and strong arms that wrap around us while we sleep. So though our clocks are ticking, our hearts long for more -or at least different - than a baby can provide.
This raises an interesting question about whether we would choose childless partnership over partnerless parenting, but I won't delve into that now. For now, I'll just say that I want both, and regardless of how it all comes into my life - via eggs or test tubes, or mail-order men, I'll sign off with faith that it will.
Rock on,
Carin
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Thirty-Five
I've been 35 now for nearly 3 days and sadly, some of the charm is beginning to wear off. After a whirlwind birthday weekend floating through the sky at sunset in a hot air balloon, sipping sweet champagne after a hot oil massage, lounging in a bubble-filled jacuzzi tub, eating prime rib for dinner - and breakfast, I thought - Yes! - THIS is what 35 is supposed to be - Luxurious, luscious, liberating, alive!
And then I found a white hair on my head. Reality set in: I am thirty-five. I am now closer to 40 than to 30. I'm practically middle-aged! After 35, childbearing is so dangerous that I'll need to poke my baby with amnio needles; at 35, I have to go get my first mammogram; at 35, we're supposed to start getting regular colonoscopies for cryin' out loud! F**k.
35 is adult stuff. But wasn't that what I loved about it? Being able to afford my own home, my own boat, my pedicures and my leisure? Being able to enjoy lifelong friendships, career success, and thrive in my ability to go after what I want? I guess that's the thing with 35. We are really adults now. And with adulthood comes the Good, and the Scary.
Here's the funny part: I don't think I would trade the Scary of 35 for the Insecurity of 25. I wouldn't trade the white hairs, or the mammograms or the colonoscopies or the fear that I won't be able to bear children; for with all of that also comes an innate inner strength, a calm loving heart, deepened wisdom, and a peace of mind that I am so much enjoying. I like this 35-year-old me. No, life isn't exactly as I thought it would be, but in all of the ways that matter, it is better than I realized was possible. What a blessing.
Goodnight, Friends. Rock on.
Carin
And then I found a white hair on my head. Reality set in: I am thirty-five. I am now closer to 40 than to 30. I'm practically middle-aged! After 35, childbearing is so dangerous that I'll need to poke my baby with amnio needles; at 35, I have to go get my first mammogram; at 35, we're supposed to start getting regular colonoscopies for cryin' out loud! F**k.
35 is adult stuff. But wasn't that what I loved about it? Being able to afford my own home, my own boat, my pedicures and my leisure? Being able to enjoy lifelong friendships, career success, and thrive in my ability to go after what I want? I guess that's the thing with 35. We are really adults now. And with adulthood comes the Good, and the Scary.
Here's the funny part: I don't think I would trade the Scary of 35 for the Insecurity of 25. I wouldn't trade the white hairs, or the mammograms or the colonoscopies or the fear that I won't be able to bear children; for with all of that also comes an innate inner strength, a calm loving heart, deepened wisdom, and a peace of mind that I am so much enjoying. I like this 35-year-old me. No, life isn't exactly as I thought it would be, but in all of the ways that matter, it is better than I realized was possible. What a blessing.
Goodnight, Friends. Rock on.
Carin
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Happy Birthday to Me! Welcome to my new blog!
Well, it's been a long time coming, but I am giving myself a wonderful birthday gift: permission to follow my dreams.
If you're reading this, then you probably know me well enough to know that I've long dreamed of being a writer. A non-fiction memoir writer, to be exact. One who shares my experiences of travel, food, people and idiosyncrasies with others, so as to enliven senses, ignite memories, and spark others' opinions and dreams.
I've been too busy, though, to actually pursue this dream - you know, there were people to see, things to do, "work" to accomplish! Yeah, right... Let's face it, I haven't been too busy. I've been too scared. Well, not anymore. Welcome to my new blog. My goal is to move you in some way -To whet your appetite with food I taste, enliven your senses with visions I see, and maybe - hopefully - to motivate, inspire, uplift, and maybe even ignite your own unique spark, so that we all can light a fire under this thing called "Life".
Enjoy! (And mostly, thank you for tuning in to allow me to pursue this passion!)
If you're reading this, then you probably know me well enough to know that I've long dreamed of being a writer. A non-fiction memoir writer, to be exact. One who shares my experiences of travel, food, people and idiosyncrasies with others, so as to enliven senses, ignite memories, and spark others' opinions and dreams.
I've been too busy, though, to actually pursue this dream - you know, there were people to see, things to do, "work" to accomplish! Yeah, right... Let's face it, I haven't been too busy. I've been too scared. Well, not anymore. Welcome to my new blog. My goal is to move you in some way -To whet your appetite with food I taste, enliven your senses with visions I see, and maybe - hopefully - to motivate, inspire, uplift, and maybe even ignite your own unique spark, so that we all can light a fire under this thing called "Life".
Enjoy! (And mostly, thank you for tuning in to allow me to pursue this passion!)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
The Best Meal I EVER Ate
After the Plain Dealer and the Akron Beacon Journal wrote about national location experts having dinner on the 50 yard line at Browns’ Stadium, I’ve been asked a lot of questions about it, so here’s the inside scoop:
A few months ago, Team NEO’s CEO, Tom Waltermire, and I met with Browns’ President, Mike Keenan and COO, Dave Jenkins to discuss how we can work together to attract more businesses and jobs to Northeast Ohio. When Mike offered to host business location specialists on the field for dinner, I had no idea what to expect. Apparently, neither did he... Unbeknownst to us, he had never dined on the field. In fact, NO ONE had ever dined on the field....
So let me set the scene: Vast rows of orange seats surrounded the pristine green field, which smelled of fresh cut grass and newly painted yard lines. Amidst a clear blue sky, the moon faintly peeked out behind the goal posts while the sun began to set. As we walked onto the field, we could feel the soft, moist grass beneath our feet. We sat at two round tables draped in pumpkin-colored silk tablecloths, lit by soft candles and exotic blooms. A silk napkin delicately wrapped individually printed menus of our 4-course gourmet meal.
Here was the line-up:
+For our Salad, Four Carrot Slaw with Salmon Two Ways (smoked and poached) in a Pernod Shallot Vinaigrette paired with Santi Pinot Grigio
+For the Appetizer, Vanilla Seared Sea Scallop on Sweet Corn Risotto accompanied by Gary Farrell Chardonnay
+Our Entrée, Kobe Beef Steak with Horseradish and Thyme Potatoes, Grilled Baby Vegetables, Peppercorn Reduction and Point Reyes Blue Cheese paired with Robert Mondavi Cabernet Sauvignon
+And for the grand finale, our Dessert, Chocolate Truffle Cake with Toasted Almond Honey Butter served with Taylor Tawney Port
Okay – I don’t know what football games you’ve been going to, but I’ve never had stadium food like this. Apparently, this menu is available for order in the suites, so to all of you suite-holders, please, please, please take my advice and order this meal. The carrot salad refreshes your palette just before the sweet corn risotto dances in your mouth. The plump scallops soft on the tongue, while the Pinot Grigio cool on your lips, and the Kobe beef so tender it melts into the creamy potatoes on your tongue just as the peppercorn reduction and Cabernet coats your belly like a warm blanket.
Just writing about it gets me warm and fuzzy inside! Best of all, it left our site selection guests feeling the same. They left full and happy, in awe of how Cleveland Plus welcomed them to our region. They left impressed, willing and ready to connect us with clients looking to expand their businesses. Thank you to Mike Keenan and his entire organization. We had no idea what to expect – and yet, you exceeded all of our wildest dreams. You are a gem to the region and the business community.
A few months ago, Team NEO’s CEO, Tom Waltermire, and I met with Browns’ President, Mike Keenan and COO, Dave Jenkins to discuss how we can work together to attract more businesses and jobs to Northeast Ohio. When Mike offered to host business location specialists on the field for dinner, I had no idea what to expect. Apparently, neither did he... Unbeknownst to us, he had never dined on the field. In fact, NO ONE had ever dined on the field....
So let me set the scene: Vast rows of orange seats surrounded the pristine green field, which smelled of fresh cut grass and newly painted yard lines. Amidst a clear blue sky, the moon faintly peeked out behind the goal posts while the sun began to set. As we walked onto the field, we could feel the soft, moist grass beneath our feet. We sat at two round tables draped in pumpkin-colored silk tablecloths, lit by soft candles and exotic blooms. A silk napkin delicately wrapped individually printed menus of our 4-course gourmet meal.
Here was the line-up:
+For our Salad, Four Carrot Slaw with Salmon Two Ways (smoked and poached) in a Pernod Shallot Vinaigrette paired with Santi Pinot Grigio
+For the Appetizer, Vanilla Seared Sea Scallop on Sweet Corn Risotto accompanied by Gary Farrell Chardonnay
+Our Entrée, Kobe Beef Steak with Horseradish and Thyme Potatoes, Grilled Baby Vegetables, Peppercorn Reduction and Point Reyes Blue Cheese paired with Robert Mondavi Cabernet Sauvignon
+And for the grand finale, our Dessert, Chocolate Truffle Cake with Toasted Almond Honey Butter served with Taylor Tawney Port
Okay – I don’t know what football games you’ve been going to, but I’ve never had stadium food like this. Apparently, this menu is available for order in the suites, so to all of you suite-holders, please, please, please take my advice and order this meal. The carrot salad refreshes your palette just before the sweet corn risotto dances in your mouth. The plump scallops soft on the tongue, while the Pinot Grigio cool on your lips, and the Kobe beef so tender it melts into the creamy potatoes on your tongue just as the peppercorn reduction and Cabernet coats your belly like a warm blanket.
Just writing about it gets me warm and fuzzy inside! Best of all, it left our site selection guests feeling the same. They left full and happy, in awe of how Cleveland Plus welcomed them to our region. They left impressed, willing and ready to connect us with clients looking to expand their businesses. Thank you to Mike Keenan and his entire organization. We had no idea what to expect – and yet, you exceeded all of our wildest dreams. You are a gem to the region and the business community.
Friday, August 14, 2009
A Sustainble Cleveland+?
This week, Cleveland+ dreamed. This week, we dreamed about what the Cleveland Plus region could be in 2019. We envisioned a vibrant city, bustling with energized, creative people making a difference in the community and the greater world around us. We saw a beautifully elegant wind farm on Lake Erie supplying clean energy to neighboring states and countries. We imagined new curriculum in schools throughout the region, picturing students of all ages eating from green farms, learning how to build LEED-certified buildings, and studying how to produce energy more effectively.
This week, nearly 600 community leaders, business executives, academics, non-profit practitioners, engineers, communicators and students, gathered in Cleveland’s Convention Center for the 2019 Sustainability Summit to discover, dream, design, and ultimately deploy a plan that helps build an economic engine that empowers Cleveland+ to become a "Green City on a Blue Lake."
But what does “Sustainable” mean? To some, it means air purification, clean water, locally-grown organic foods and educated citizens; while for others, it is about alternative energy industries that create new jobs.
So was this Summit about becoming an environmentally friendly community or about becoming a leader in advanced energy solutions that are used to power communities worldwide? Well done, becoming a “Green City on a Blue Lake” means both.
Many studies have proven that sustainable practices make good economic sense. As Northeast Ohio’s business attraction marketer, it is clear to me that if Cleveland+ has active green policies and practices and if Cleveland Plussers live “green” lifestyles, we will become known to alternative energy companies as a hub for green jobs.
But what comes first? Teams developed prototypes in everything from Advanced Energy Research and Advanced Manufacturing/material to Vacant Land Use, Local Food, and leveraging our Water. Naturally, I participated and facilitated the conversation about Communications and Branding. First on my team’s agenda: communicate the importance of living a green lifestyle in schools and neighborhoods throughout the region. The feeling was that if Northeast Ohioans live a more “green” life, then “green jobs” will follow. My opinion? It’s “Chicken and Egg”. I’d say that if we can get more “green jobs” here, building wind turbines and solar panels, then those employees might just start changing Cleveland+ culture to one that is more "green."
So what do you think?
This week, nearly 600 community leaders, business executives, academics, non-profit practitioners, engineers, communicators and students, gathered in Cleveland’s Convention Center for the 2019 Sustainability Summit to discover, dream, design, and ultimately deploy a plan that helps build an economic engine that empowers Cleveland+ to become a "Green City on a Blue Lake."
But what does “Sustainable” mean? To some, it means air purification, clean water, locally-grown organic foods and educated citizens; while for others, it is about alternative energy industries that create new jobs.
So was this Summit about becoming an environmentally friendly community or about becoming a leader in advanced energy solutions that are used to power communities worldwide? Well done, becoming a “Green City on a Blue Lake” means both.
Many studies have proven that sustainable practices make good economic sense. As Northeast Ohio’s business attraction marketer, it is clear to me that if Cleveland+ has active green policies and practices and if Cleveland Plussers live “green” lifestyles, we will become known to alternative energy companies as a hub for green jobs.
But what comes first? Teams developed prototypes in everything from Advanced Energy Research and Advanced Manufacturing/material to Vacant Land Use, Local Food, and leveraging our Water. Naturally, I participated and facilitated the conversation about Communications and Branding. First on my team’s agenda: communicate the importance of living a green lifestyle in schools and neighborhoods throughout the region. The feeling was that if Northeast Ohioans live a more “green” life, then “green jobs” will follow. My opinion? It’s “Chicken and Egg”. I’d say that if we can get more “green jobs” here, building wind turbines and solar panels, then those employees might just start changing Cleveland+ culture to one that is more "green."
So what do you think?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
HOW CHUCK RATNER AND FOREST CITY REMIND US OF OUR PLUS SPIRIT
I had the privilege of having a small group lunch August 4 with Chuck Ratner, CEO of Forest City Enterprises. For those of you who don’t know much about Forest City, founded in 1920, today the company is an $11.7 Billion publicly-traded global real estate firm headquartered in Cleveland. Most amazing is how the company came to be – and the values it still holds today.
At lunch, I learned about how Max Ratner, Chuck’s dad, immigrated to the United States from Poland. Like many immigrants, Max was an entrepreneur. He opened a creamery, and then a lumber business. Though at first the business was retail – a pre-Home Depot, if you will, after the depression, the Ratners began buying large pieces of land in far away places like “Beachwood” and “Parma” (now well built-out suburbs 20 minutes from Cleveland). Over time, the company was able to purchase parcels of land throughout the United States, leading to their national prominence today.
The Ratners embody what is best about the Cleveland Plus region: genuine people with entrepreneurial spirit.
And Chuck is genuine. Casually dressed in a short-sleeved yellow shirt, the real estate mogul talked openly about his parents’ struggles and passionately about the need to give back to the community. Having served as the Chair of Cleveland’s United Way Campaign, Chair of the Jewish Federation, on the board of the Cleveland Orchestra and the Greater Cleveland Partnership, he says that the list is not important. It is the WORK – the progress and outcomes that better lives – that is important. He passionately spoke about Cleveland – about the company’s commitment to improving the urban core. He spoke about the need to change urban education, and demonstrated his passions as he talked about his work with the new STEM school, ePrep, and Cleveland Public Schools’ CEO, Dr. Eugene Sanders. He was open about his love of Judaism, quoting Talmudic passages that guided much of his life. Ideals of openness, honesty, integrity and community. In Judaism, there must be a “minyan” – 10 people – for public prayer; he pointed to how this law reminds us of the need for community. The idea that we are better together.
This of course is the idea of Team NEO – working together as one region to attract businesses. The fact that collectively we can do more than any one city or county can do on its own. That collaboratively, we have better ideas and more opportunities.
Chuck Ratner is one of Northeast Ohio’s best Plusses. He reminds us that the ideals of our region’s founders still run deep in our blood today. And those virtues – that entrepreneurial spirit and goodness of the heart – is what is making progress for Northeast Ohio’s future.
Ps – the lunch was a program of the Young Leadership Division of the Jewish Community Federation of Cleveland for Ben Gurion Society members
For more about Team NEO and the Cleveland Plus region, visit www.clevelandplusbusiness.com
At lunch, I learned about how Max Ratner, Chuck’s dad, immigrated to the United States from Poland. Like many immigrants, Max was an entrepreneur. He opened a creamery, and then a lumber business. Though at first the business was retail – a pre-Home Depot, if you will, after the depression, the Ratners began buying large pieces of land in far away places like “Beachwood” and “Parma” (now well built-out suburbs 20 minutes from Cleveland). Over time, the company was able to purchase parcels of land throughout the United States, leading to their national prominence today.
The Ratners embody what is best about the Cleveland Plus region: genuine people with entrepreneurial spirit.
And Chuck is genuine. Casually dressed in a short-sleeved yellow shirt, the real estate mogul talked openly about his parents’ struggles and passionately about the need to give back to the community. Having served as the Chair of Cleveland’s United Way Campaign, Chair of the Jewish Federation, on the board of the Cleveland Orchestra and the Greater Cleveland Partnership, he says that the list is not important. It is the WORK – the progress and outcomes that better lives – that is important. He passionately spoke about Cleveland – about the company’s commitment to improving the urban core. He spoke about the need to change urban education, and demonstrated his passions as he talked about his work with the new STEM school, ePrep, and Cleveland Public Schools’ CEO, Dr. Eugene Sanders. He was open about his love of Judaism, quoting Talmudic passages that guided much of his life. Ideals of openness, honesty, integrity and community. In Judaism, there must be a “minyan” – 10 people – for public prayer; he pointed to how this law reminds us of the need for community. The idea that we are better together.
This of course is the idea of Team NEO – working together as one region to attract businesses. The fact that collectively we can do more than any one city or county can do on its own. That collaboratively, we have better ideas and more opportunities.
Chuck Ratner is one of Northeast Ohio’s best Plusses. He reminds us that the ideals of our region’s founders still run deep in our blood today. And those virtues – that entrepreneurial spirit and goodness of the heart – is what is making progress for Northeast Ohio’s future.
Ps – the lunch was a program of the Young Leadership Division of the Jewish Community Federation of Cleveland for Ben Gurion Society members
For more about Team NEO and the Cleveland Plus region, visit www.clevelandplusbusiness.com
An Introduction
I moved to Cleveland 6 years ago and in that time, I’ve become the region’s biggest cheerleader. Literally. As the Vice President of Marketing and Communications for Team Northeast Ohio, Team NEO, it is my job to promote the region’s business assets and opportunities to bring more jobs to the region.
We sell the region as “Cleveland Plus” because regardless of the nation’s economic challenges right now, there are so many plusses in the 16 counties of Northeast Ohio.
Yes – there IS so much opportunity! An exploding biomedical industry that is growing faster than the US average, a growing Scientific Research and Development Sector that has doubled US growth, the nation’s fourth largest per capita share of Headquarters employment. And some of the world’s best-known cultural institutions, hospitals, chefs and neighborhoods! Where else do dozens of Pro Football Hall of Famers like Madden and Aikman visit annually, Rockers display their cherished relics, an Iron Chef cooks up a reasonably priced meal and regular people like you and me can easily go boating on a beautiful summer day?
I’m not making this stuff up. These are the facts - it’s just time that we spread the word. To do so, I speak to dozens of regional businesses, chambers of commerce, trade organizations and clubs annually about Northeast Ohio’s opportunities for economic growth and how to engage in the efforts to advance Northeast Ohio’s economy. And every time I do, Northeast Ohioans tell me that they're hungry for more POSITIVE news. We want to hear it on the news, read about it in the paper, and talk about it with our friends. So here it is. Let’s do it, Northeast Ohio. Let’s start knowing the positives, and spreading them. Let's be part of the solution.
Often, people call me the “Cleveland Plus Cheerleader” – so why not make use of that? In this blog, I’ll share with you all of the Plusses I experience – from our economic highlights to our region’s great cultural assets that Team NEO leverages to sell the region. You’ll get to journey with me to the Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction, the Bridgestone Invitational, into the Rock Hall Vault and learn with me about the region’s economy and growing sectors. All I ask is that you share the plus, that you help sell the plus and most of all, that you be the plus you want to see every day!
Welcome to Rockin’ the Plus! It’s going to be a wild ride!
We sell the region as “Cleveland Plus” because regardless of the nation’s economic challenges right now, there are so many plusses in the 16 counties of Northeast Ohio.
Yes – there IS so much opportunity! An exploding biomedical industry that is growing faster than the US average, a growing Scientific Research and Development Sector that has doubled US growth, the nation’s fourth largest per capita share of Headquarters employment. And some of the world’s best-known cultural institutions, hospitals, chefs and neighborhoods! Where else do dozens of Pro Football Hall of Famers like Madden and Aikman visit annually, Rockers display their cherished relics, an Iron Chef cooks up a reasonably priced meal and regular people like you and me can easily go boating on a beautiful summer day?
I’m not making this stuff up. These are the facts - it’s just time that we spread the word. To do so, I speak to dozens of regional businesses, chambers of commerce, trade organizations and clubs annually about Northeast Ohio’s opportunities for economic growth and how to engage in the efforts to advance Northeast Ohio’s economy. And every time I do, Northeast Ohioans tell me that they're hungry for more POSITIVE news. We want to hear it on the news, read about it in the paper, and talk about it with our friends. So here it is. Let’s do it, Northeast Ohio. Let’s start knowing the positives, and spreading them. Let's be part of the solution.
Often, people call me the “Cleveland Plus Cheerleader” – so why not make use of that? In this blog, I’ll share with you all of the Plusses I experience – from our economic highlights to our region’s great cultural assets that Team NEO leverages to sell the region. You’ll get to journey with me to the Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction, the Bridgestone Invitational, into the Rock Hall Vault and learn with me about the region’s economy and growing sectors. All I ask is that you share the plus, that you help sell the plus and most of all, that you be the plus you want to see every day!
Welcome to Rockin’ the Plus! It’s going to be a wild ride!
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