Call me PollyAnna! (But Know What That Means...)

So we've all heard the term "She's such a PollyAnna" - meaning, she unrealistically looks at life through rose-colored glasses. For those who have said or thought this - have you seen the movie or read the book?

I had the privilege of watching the movie last weekend and never again will I hear the term "PollyAnna-ish" the same. In fact, never again will I tolerate it as a short-hand way of saying excessive-unchecked-naive-optimism. It seems to me that PollyAnna was the first Positive Psychologist. She clearly saw the challenges of life - she wasn't oblivious to the sadness of losing her parents, the injustice of the chaotic orphanage, the harshness of the priest's sermon. She saw those things clearly, felt them and still CHOSE to find the good. This is positive psychology.

Positive Psychology was founded on the grounds of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The basic premise of Seligman's (1991) "Learned Optimism" is that we can learn to think differently about life's adversities. We can choose to see events as personal, pervasive and permanent... or we can choose to see them as not personal, isolated and temporary. What I love about PollyAnna is that she takes this a step further. She also chooses to see the positive. To operationalize Seligman's model, we can learn the The Resilience Factor by Reivitch & Shatte (2007) to identify our Beliefs and Consequences related to the event. For example, a friend passes us on the street without saying hello and we may have the "Belief" that she is mad at us and "Consequently" feel sad or angry. In the book, they teach us to question such "thinking trap" and find evidence that they may be (in)accurate. Back to our example - we could ask our friend if she saw us and we may find out that she was on the phone, or had just heard bad news and therefore wasn't paying attention and didn't see us. I've used this technique several times have found it to beautifully neutralize a situation. In other words, it takes us from a -6 to a 0. What PollyAnna adds is how to go from the 0 to a +3. She looks for the POSITIVE in a given situation. Back to our example again, she may say, well, this gives me an opportunity to call my friend later and see what's going on.

In the book/movie, her approach not only endears people to PollyAnna, but it helps them thrive. One character, Mrs. Snow comes alive again after a life of attention-seeking hypochondriac behavior. In fact, the whole town thrives. By instilling hope and optimism in individuals, they began to see that they could band together and accomplish their community goals! Christakis & Fowler (2007) found that happiness is contagious. People are happier when around happy people. Fredrickson (2009) teaches us that positive emotions broaden our mind and build our resources such that they help create trust and build relationships (among other things).

PollyAnna (or the writer/director/producer) knew these concepts before the field of Positive Psychology was born. What the field offers is the scientific base and evidence. Positive Psychology breaks down these concepts to find the drivers and mediators, the activators and nuances. And through understanding this science, I can now follow my calling - to help others develop realistic optimism that empowers them to build resilience, increase positivity, find meaning and enhance relationships such that they achieve their dreams.... and ultimately FLOURISH. Call me POLLYANNA!

Reflection

Tonight begins the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur, translated literally: The day of Atonement. A day to stop, reflect, and ask forgiveness for all ways in which we may have not been our best selves... whether intentional or not.

There were times this year when we lashed out at a loved one or dismissed a colleague. There were moments when we could have helped a neighbor, or celebrated with a friend. There are moments we wish we could get back and do over. Often, though, we are so busy running between appointments and obligations that we don't find the time to Stop. Reflect on those moments. Think about what we would do differently next time. And Vow to do so.

This is what Yom Kippur offers us. And more.

What if we ALSO use this day to reflect on when we WERE our very best? To think about the moments when we CHOSE to exhibit ourselves fully? To savor those feelings of gratitude, pride and joy? To share those stories with a friend and ask them to share theirs. What if we allowed this pause to not just be about healing what is broken, but also flourishing to become our best selves? As Barbara Fredrickson shares in her book, "Positivity", positive emotions help us broaden our minds and build more resilience, love and capacity. I believe that this is the true intention of the Yom Kippur.

As we enter this holiday, I think about the past year, about the loss of friend, about the beginning of new friendships, about the joys I've experienced, the love and blessings for which I'm grateful. As we enter this holiday, I vow to reflect, broaden and build. I wish you the same, and for us all to have the opportunity THIS YEAR to savor and spread joy.

I wish us all a happy and healthy and sweet new year. A year when we are our very best selves. May you and your loved ones be inscribed in the Book of (Flourishing) LIFE!

So What is this Positive Psychology thing anyways?

I love telling people that I'm going back to school for "Positive Psychology", as it's great fun to watch their response. Here's how it went yesterday with a very successful, intelligent corporate marketer that I know... she nodded, wrinkled her brow inquisitively, then smiled slowly and said... "COOL!" She then admitted that she had NO idea what it was, but that it sounded really great. This is the typical response.

So what is Positive Psychology? Is it saying that traditional psychology is "negative"? No. Is it rose-colored-glasses brainwash psychology? No. Am I going to be a clinical psychologist with a couch when this is done? Definitely not.

But what I am going to do is work with people, organizations, groups and communities to help them flourish. Yes, FLOURISH. Not just be happy, or positive all the time, but to really blossom. And if we think about how a flower blossoms, it is from the inside out. It is an unfolding of the petals toward the sun.

For people to flourish, what if we build from the inside? From character strengths, positive emotions like hope and gratitude, ideas tucked deep within, healthy muscles and heart waiting to be used? What if organizations built from the inside? Focusing on employee well being, best practices and organizational virtue to reach higher profitabililty? Momentary pleasures like a deal won, or a piece of cake, or a raise have been proven to unfortunately just be "momentary". We need a longer term solution.

Unfortunately, many people today are simply existing, trying to muddle their way through life, enjoying the momentary happiness, but unsure of how to find lifelong satisfaction. Positive Psychology says that the the absence of illness is not wellness. To be HEALTHY we must go beyond fixing a problem (like disease, apathay, misery, depression). We must allow for comprehensive flourishing. Flourishing relationships, feeling important meaning in life and work, savoring positive emotions and enjoying achievement.

Don't we all want this for our children? Flourishing? For our companies? For our communities? For society at large?

For more on Positive Psychology, visit http://www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu/