Yesterday, while unsuccessfully attempting to lug my new wooden desk out of a cab and into my apartment building, a knight in shining armor came to my rescue. Okay, he wasn't a knight and he didn't have armor, but he did rescue me from myself. This very nice man was walking by with his daughter, noticed my struggle and asked if I wanted help carrying the desk to my apartment. Did I ever! I don't know what I was thinking foolishly believing that I could schlepp this thing up 4 flights of stairs!
I have never met this stranger and I will likely never see him again. Regardless, I am in deep gratitude to and for him. Dr. Martin Seligman, the "father" of positive psychology says that the fastest way to improve our well-being is to do something nice for someone else. As he says, acts of kindness not only make the recipient feel good... they make us feel good too! And because feeling good is contagious, this one act of kindness can ignite dozens more.
And if just one act of kindness generates wellness, imagine what multiple acts in 1 day can do! According to acclaimed researchers Lyubomirsky, Sheldon and Schkade (2005), 5 acts of kindness in 1 day quadruples our happiness! Who needs an energy drink with this kind of boost?
What research tells us, this man confirmed. Doing something nice for someone else matters to everyone's well-being. Certainly, his kindness mattered to me. Wherever you are, my helpful "Knight", thank you. I'll be sure to pay it forward.
Showing posts with label marty seligman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marty seligman. Show all posts
Monday, October 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Strengths in Overdrive = Foolish
If you read my blog or know me in any way, you know that I am all about strength-based growth. I believe that we each have unique traits and talents that enable us to do great things.
In Positive Psychology, the scientific study of human flourishing, we call these traits “Signature Strengths”. These are the character strengths that we exhibit most often. In fact, according to Marty Seligman, “father” of Positive Psychology, we are happiest when using our signature strengths in all of our relationships – love, work and community.
One of my Signature Strengths is Courage. I have always thought that to be brave is to be exceptional.
But what about bravery in excess? This week, I decided to drive a 16-foot moving truck into New York City. MYSELF. I thought it would be fun. As I tried switching lanes, turning onto narrow streets and avoiding poles in Philly, I realized that I wasn’t being brave – I was being foolish.
I needed help. For some reason, asking for help seemed like a weakness. I thought that the Courageous, the Strong, the Successful do it all on their own. This too was foolish.
When I asked for and accepted help, the move went smoothly. My mover sent me truck-friendly directions into the City, my friend Stephanie helped me pack, my friend Geraldine’s family moved me out of my Philly apartment, my friend Allison watched Henry, and my friend Mac drove with me into New York, telling me when I could switch lanes, staying with the truck while I signed the lease, and keeping me laughing through challenging moments (like when a woman honked to tell us that the hatch was up)!. The move could not have happened without these incredibly generous, kind friends.
This experience taught me that the wisest know when they need help and they ask for it. All strengths in excess are weaknesses. Aristotle said strengths "in reason" - today, we would call this "in moderation". We must know our strengths – AND our limitations. We must ask for help along the way. We must remember that we need others. Remembering that gave me a smooth move into the next phase of my life.
Thank you to all who helped ease the way!
ps - If you want to know your Signature Strengths, visit www.authentichappiness.com
In Positive Psychology, the scientific study of human flourishing, we call these traits “Signature Strengths”. These are the character strengths that we exhibit most often. In fact, according to Marty Seligman, “father” of Positive Psychology, we are happiest when using our signature strengths in all of our relationships – love, work and community.
One of my Signature Strengths is Courage. I have always thought that to be brave is to be exceptional.
But what about bravery in excess? This week, I decided to drive a 16-foot moving truck into New York City. MYSELF. I thought it would be fun. As I tried switching lanes, turning onto narrow streets and avoiding poles in Philly, I realized that I wasn’t being brave – I was being foolish.
I needed help. For some reason, asking for help seemed like a weakness. I thought that the Courageous, the Strong, the Successful do it all on their own. This too was foolish.
When I asked for and accepted help, the move went smoothly. My mover sent me truck-friendly directions into the City, my friend Stephanie helped me pack, my friend Geraldine’s family moved me out of my Philly apartment, my friend Allison watched Henry, and my friend Mac drove with me into New York, telling me when I could switch lanes, staying with the truck while I signed the lease, and keeping me laughing through challenging moments (like when a woman honked to tell us that the hatch was up)!. The move could not have happened without these incredibly generous, kind friends.
This experience taught me that the wisest know when they need help and they ask for it. All strengths in excess are weaknesses. Aristotle said strengths "in reason" - today, we would call this "in moderation". We must know our strengths – AND our limitations. We must ask for help along the way. We must remember that we need others. Remembering that gave me a smooth move into the next phase of my life.
Thank you to all who helped ease the way!
ps - If you want to know your Signature Strengths, visit www.authentichappiness.com
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Memorial Day Salute: Here's to Our Soldiers' Mental and Emotional Fitness
I love the pool and a BBQ as much as the next person, but on Memorial Day it’s appropriate to pause and appreciate those who have given their lives in service of our nation. This Memorial Day, I am thinking of my dear friend, neighbor and former dog-walker, Marsalis, a sweet, naïve 18 year old boy who is in basic training as we speak. What will he see when sent off to duty? How will he feel losing friends in battle? Will I ever see him again?
As I consider the pains and triumphs that Marsalis may experience, I am grateful that our soldiers are now being trained in “Mental Toughness” (aka: Positive Psychology). Called “Master Resilience Training” (MRT), my University of Pennsylvania professors, Dr. Marty Seligman and Dr. Karen Reivich, along with dozens of their colleagues, designed the course in 2009 and are now rolling it out to all 1.1 million American soldiers. Think about it – soldiers endure rigorous physical training – why not mental and emotional training too?
MRT trains soldiers in emotional, social, family, and spiritual wellness. MRT teaches resilience tools to overcome the harsh mental realities soldiers face. Consider this - when the Army approached Penn in 2008, suicide, depression, divorce and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) rates were at an all time high. Something had to be done to help soldiers maintain mental toughness in war, cope with wounds and lost friends, and learn how to re-integrate with their loved ones once returning home. Fortunately, the training is seeing positive results, though it is early and research is in progress.
Positive psychology trains us to live to our fullest potential through all circumstances. You and I may not be at war, but we face challenges every day that require us to be mentally and emotionally fit.
So on this Memorial Day, I’m thinking of Marsalis. I’m thinking of those who have given their lives. And I’m thinking of those who are GIVING their lives in service of our nation. I pray that they maintain their mental and emotional fitness, that they receive the love of their families and our nation, and that they experience health and growth through their dutiful service.
“Happy” Memorial Day Everyone!
As I consider the pains and triumphs that Marsalis may experience, I am grateful that our soldiers are now being trained in “Mental Toughness” (aka: Positive Psychology). Called “Master Resilience Training” (MRT), my University of Pennsylvania professors, Dr. Marty Seligman and Dr. Karen Reivich, along with dozens of their colleagues, designed the course in 2009 and are now rolling it out to all 1.1 million American soldiers. Think about it – soldiers endure rigorous physical training – why not mental and emotional training too?
MRT trains soldiers in emotional, social, family, and spiritual wellness. MRT teaches resilience tools to overcome the harsh mental realities soldiers face. Consider this - when the Army approached Penn in 2008, suicide, depression, divorce and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) rates were at an all time high. Something had to be done to help soldiers maintain mental toughness in war, cope with wounds and lost friends, and learn how to re-integrate with their loved ones once returning home. Fortunately, the training is seeing positive results, though it is early and research is in progress.
Positive psychology trains us to live to our fullest potential through all circumstances. You and I may not be at war, but we face challenges every day that require us to be mentally and emotionally fit.
So on this Memorial Day, I’m thinking of Marsalis. I’m thinking of those who have given their lives. And I’m thinking of those who are GIVING their lives in service of our nation. I pray that they maintain their mental and emotional fitness, that they receive the love of their families and our nation, and that they experience health and growth through their dutiful service.
“Happy” Memorial Day Everyone!
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